Touring around America for the last five years with my solo-show Mixed has always been a labor of love. The recent run in New York City in March of 2009 garnered enough critical praise for the theatre to invite Mixed back again in 2010 (Stay tuned for dates!) In between tours, I decided to go back to school and get my Masters. Due to the show’s popularity (partly thanks to Obama, of course), I had to find an understudy to fill my shoes. Christina Moses brought new energy to these important stories in the fall of 2009. I am grateful to her for all her hard work keeping Mixed alive. These are her experiences.
Love, Maya
“Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone”, says a young high school student after my performance at Washington State University at Tri-Cities. She then proceeds to tell me her story. Bi-racial. Mother is white. Father is black. She lives with her mother and her stepfather (who is white). Her brother, biracial like her, no longer lives with them. She feels alone, living in a home that mirrors her small-homogenized town of Richland, Washington.
This was just one of many conversations on belonging, identity, fitting in, loneliness and isolation that I engaged in while touring Maya Lilly’s one-woman show Mixed. This powerful theatrical play, based on hundreds of interviews that Lilly conducted with people of mixed racial backgrounds, focuses on the lived experiences of nine characters of multiethnic descent, laughing and crying their way through life, growing stronger with each step. Yet it connects with everyone, regardless of cultural or ethnic background. This is what makes Mixed so magical. The life stories of bi-racial and multi-racial people are so rarely told, if ever. We have been forced to choose for so long —as if it’s possible to cut and carve out certain aspects of our identity while denying others, or pull them out only in opportune circumstances. As if identity were a solid tangible entity.
Photography by Gregory Boyd, 2009
Throughout my tour, everyone saw themselves in the stories of these characters. Some identified closely, being of the same or similar ethnic background, others because of the very distinct commonalities we share and reactions we encounter being mixed, biracial, hapa, multiracial etc… Others saw themselves in these characters simply because the issues of identity and belonging, and the prejudice that ensues from fear and ignorance, are universal, blind to race, class, religion or heritage. After each performance, I was approached privately or directly during the Q&A period by eager students, professors, and people from the local communities wanting to share their stories. Some never had the platform to tell their side of their own story, express their opinions, or even voice what they feel is unfair or what is necessary to get beyond the pervasive racism that still plagues our society. Some people related sad stories, their pain clear and alive beneath the surface of their daily persona, but in the telling of their stories a lightness materialized, a joy in the ownership of their experiences and the connections made as a result of vocalizing them.
There were also many discussions on the positive aspects of what it is like to live life on the margins, the strengths that come from viewing the world through a multiracial, multicultural lens; having the best of many worlds, being able to adapt and relate to many different people and various cultures that shape who we are. If we can see ourselves in others, compassion can develop. We become more human to each other, understanding builds.
It was such a joy traveling to the different states performing this work. Doing what I love, acting, while sharing in long overdue and very important conversations. These were small towns, too. Being a big city girl, I was not without apprehension. How would the audiences react? Would they be offended? How diverse or homogenized were these cities I was walking into? Who would I perform for? Richland in Washington and Eugene in Oregon were the smallest and the least ethnically diverse communities in the four states I performed.
However, my stereotypes and concerns were stopped short in their tracks. The commitment to diversity and awareness of social and political injustice in these communities was inspirational. The students of Oregon State are not afraid to ask the necessary and sometimes painful questions that can hopefully lead to the breaking down of our prejudices and stereotypes. The students at Tri-Cities are determined to create a large multicultural presence on campus, working hard and having fun in the process. I was humbled by their openness and willingness to connect. I am a person of color and a social justice activist, but I can still sometimes find myself stereotyping others, making assumptions about their values and beliefs based entirely on my perceptions. In other words, deluding myself that I am a champion of awareness and equanimity while letting myself off the hook. Overcoming and breaking down stereotypes, looking beyond reductive categories is constant work, and needs to be done on all sides. Performing Mixed and touring in mainly small towns provided constant reminders to keep myself in check.
For example, while sitting in the restaurant lounge of the Red Lion hotel in Richland, Washington, I got talking to a white Republican from Mississippi. We discussed Obama (whom he respected and but hadn’t voted for), local politics, terrorism (didn’t want to engage in that one for too long), and how much he detested Nancy Pelosi. He asked what I was doing in town. I told him, half-expecting him to declare that racism is obviously over and that we should stop whining because, Hey look… Obama is President. I mean Mississippi didn’t rewrite anti-miscegenation laws for years after they were declared unconstitutional. Of course I’m entitled to judge him, I reassure myself.
But he immediately started asking a million questions about the show, where I was from, my ethnic background. I was wary of his questioning, prepared for a full charged discussion on racism and why people like him keep this disease gnawing on America’s insides alive. However, he was thoroughly impressed with the idea of the show. Told me how a show like this was necessary because of how racist America is. Excuse me? I thought to myself. It would be great to have Mixed in his small town, he said, it would blow their minds. “We never discuss mixed races,” he said. Huh? By now I was staring at him in disbelief. He even suggested we take the show to Keith Bardwell’s alma mater. Believe me, some of the things he was saying regarding the war and economics were frightening. But, this was the last thing I thought I would hear from him. We don’t have to agree, and sure I’d like to think my politics are the only correct view. But the point is if I keep viewing the world with slanty eyes (however political and socially aware that slant may be), what makes my stance in the world any more profound and beneficial as those holding racist and prejudice views?
A closed mind is a closed mind. There is always a point of connection.
And there is always more work we can do to open and soften the closed doors we all construct, always more effort required to dismantle our prejudices and stereotypes, and bridge gaps we thought impossible to close.
For unexpected moments like these, I am thankful for Mixed, the dialogue it generates and the opportunity to engage in and learn from many brilliant minds across the country. I am grateful for the challenge it demanded of me as an actress and social justice seeker.
- Christina Moses
FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE SHOW, GO TO WWW.MAYALILLY.COM.